An Alligator

Jeff and I have been blessed. Born to good families, enjoy good health and have the opportunity to live an American dream of owning our own business. For 30+ years we traveled to exotic places abroad, 47 of our 50 beautiful states and a dry-cleaners in Camden, NJ where we trained customer service at 4am in the morning.

One of our trips to Florida found us staying at a resort with a well-known golf course and a free afternoon. NO BRAINER! We headed off to play on this beautiful Jack Nicklaus Signature course featuring 18 holes stretching along the ocean and river. Clarification – Jeff is a golfer and I’m a golf tourist – that’s a person who understands the rules, demonstrates golf etiquette and shoots a score more respectable for a bowler than a golfer and yet, still enjoys the game.

It takes me 2 strokes to get to Jeff’s drive. He’s waiting on one side of the fairway while I’m walking up the opposite side of the fairway searching for my yellow ball. All of a sudden he yells out “Heads-up.” I immediately drop to a crouching position expecting to feel a ball wiz by my ear. Nothing. I look over at him, shrug my shoulders and continue searching. A few more steps and he again yells “Heads-up.” No ducking this time, I merely turned and gave him the ‘wife look’. Two more steps and he yells “Alligator.” About 6 feet off to my left, sunny itself, is an 8’ alligator. A few thoughts immediately crossed my mind – stand perfectly still, should I use a wood or an iron as a weapon and I wish Jeff had shouted ‘alligator’ rather than ‘heads-up’! I would have stopped sooner!

There are many words or phrases we grew up with that made sense to us but when repeated, gets others to give a “what the heck are you talking about” look. Case in point, my in-laws. At one of our family dinners a subject came up that Al and Dot held opposite points of view. After 10 minutes of back and forth, Al said “case closed”. I looked at Jeff and he just smiled. Growing up when his folks disagreed strongly on a subject, Al would say “case closed”, meaning drop the subject and never bring it up again. Jeff said it really meant Dad was losing the argument and he just wanted it to stop. Years later we were having an enjoyable dinner with friends when Nancy said, “Let’s go bowling.” Jeff and I stopped mid-bite and looked at each other. Her husband, who was passionate about the topic we were discussing, didn’t realize his voice had elevated, he was slapping the table with his hand and the neighbors above where banging on the floor. “Let’s go bowling” was Nancy’s way of telling Stew to calm down…and he did…immediately!

Whether you’re having “a pair of drawers” or a glass of “dog soup”, thanks for reading this article. Perhaps it’s added to your “claw sharp”. If you’re going out today, bring your “rain napper” – I understand it’s going to be wet and the temperature “colder than the hinges of hell”. If you’re “fly rink”, wear a hat and, gentlemen, make sure “the horse is in the barn.” My wish for you – may “happy cabbage” to be in your future, you never find yourself “in the ketchup” and you keep the “pine overcoat” away for a long time. Believe me because I wouldn’t “sell you a dog.”

Translation: Whether you’re having “2 cups of coffee” or a glass of “water”, thanks for reading this article. Perhaps it’s added to your “knowledge base”. Going out today? Bring your “umbrella” – I understand it’s going to be wet and the temperature “cold”. If you’re “bald”, wear a hat and, gentlemen, make sure your “zipper is up.” My wish for you – may “a sizeable amount of money” be in your future, you never find yourself “in the red” and you keep the “coffin” away for a long time. Believe me because I wouldn’t “lie”.

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